Pathetic..

Now I am trying to erase everything about you
I will just take the good memories we had
Even if I hold onto you, I know you're going to leave
So I will accept our separation like it's nothing

I looked miserable, I was pathetic
Because I couldn't do anything
Yes, I won't ever find you again
Even if I miss you, even if I long for you, I will hold it in

* Don't ever look for me again- go to her
Because I'll meet someone else and be happy too
Because there isn't a spot for you to come back to
Don't ever find me again- don't find me, don't find me

Even if I'm alone on a street we used to walk on alot
Even if your favorite song is playing
Even if it rains and unknowingly, I think of you
Even if it's so hard and I cry, I will hold it in

Though I'm still blankly spending my days crying
Though it's awkward without you
Though I can't sleep with thoughts of you every night
I'm okay without you

It's over anyway, because this is it for us
Don't find me ever again, don't find me, don't find me

Lord, thank you for Your unfailing love, for a love that has comforted me when I have fallen short, when I've made mistakes, when everything has fallen apart. I've constantly taken my life into my hands and I have failed. Father, I don't want to stumble anymore, direct my footsteps according to Your word. Teach me to follow You. Give me understanding to discern Your ways from mine. Turn my eyes from worthless things that will only distract me from walking in your ways. My Father I have so many plans for my life, plans that only You know if they will succeed or not, so I surrender them to You. You know what I long for, what my heart hopes for; lead me, show me the way. I want to honor You with my decisions, with my plans, with my life. Amen.

Go Away!

i like to see the rain.. coz it make me peace deep inside my heart, 

but the true is something happen inside me while see the rain fall down

somthing can't say with words.. i feel peace but want to cry..

few month ago something happen and until now i don't

know am i strong enough to stand again...

i cry to many night

i have too much pain.. no one will understand..

yes im smiling,  even laugh..  coz it was the easy way

then to tell Ppl why am i crying... 

and to many night i was asking God why it happen to me??

why??? me?? admit that i was in Love with HIM... 

and until now i can't get over HIM!!

i miss u... missu so damm much!!

and i was praying every single nite ask god to bless u and ur Girlfriend..

and i was asking wif my self why u come in to my life  if the is the way u 

left me?.. u said that u don't love ur ex anymore... then why u go back with her??

and u said to me that u will wait for me until God make us one..

but then where is ur promise???

i have trust u more than u ever know.. no one will understand the feeling is :'( 

just hate this feeling ... 

Why i cry?

You’re the reason why I cry

The way I'm feeling

It's quite hard to describe

I feel so alone and lost

In this unbearable life

Too many twisted emotions

My stomach all tied in knots

Wish there was something I could do

To completely erase all these thoughts

How long must I feel this pain

I've cryed so many tears

I can't stand looking in your eyes

Only to see all of my fears

How can you believe the smile on my face

When you can clearly see the pain in my eyes

Take a step back and look deeper

You're the reason why I cry

Heavenly Father, thank you for seeing in me what I cannot. I struggle with accepting the fact that I am worthy. Worthy of a godly man, a godly relationship, of your love. I desire all the best but always aim and settle for less. Your word says I'm worth more than rubies, I'm chosen, royalty; yet I feel ordinary, simple, insignificant. I want to see myself through Your eyes; through the eyes of my Maker, my Father, my Savior. I want to believe I'm worth it.

Dear Lord. I'm not at peace with myself. I always feel like I'm not good enough, like I'm not worthy of the best. I'm to focused on my failures,my imperfections,my insecurities. I try to think positive and concentrate on all the wonderful things you have planned but the cynical part of me always drowns out the good. My Father you know that in the past I've been hurt and torn down by words. I don't want to live my life believing that I don't matter, that I'm not valuable. My Father God I know you treasure me, that to You I'm far more precious than jewels. But why is the bad stuff so much easier to believe? Sweet Lord, please help me conquer my insecurities and help restore my self esteem. Amen

That’s it I have enough to trying to make this right
When it’s my hatred of you that gives me my life
So I will say my prayers before I go to sleep
And you can be sure you won’t be in my dream

Now if you look at the clock you’ll see the time has run out
You was full of confusion and I was full of doubt
But it’s all over now so go and ask god for break
For I’m not going until you’ve took all you can take

You were planning a future while I was going mad
This is beyond stupid this is beyond bad
We were barely able to talk about our pasts
So almost without you knowing it was over so fast

There are hearts that are sweeter than the one you gave
Hearts that would be satisfied by the heart I made
So take your words that are worthless and leave
Because when you are here I cannot breathe

You know that you will be one of my cherished lovers
But don’t be naive and think there were no others
I have lost my mind and I have lost my pity
As you didn’t have anything left to give to me

Thank you for the daily pain and nightly agony
Thank you for everything you never did for me
Thank you for hurting me so that I would Forget you
Thank you for all the poor quality memories
Thank you for the little bittersweet brutalities
Thank you for hurting me so that I would Forget you..